That feeling

It’s a terrible awkward feeling when you fall in love...

Your mind gets completely taken over, you can’t function properly anymore. The world turns into a dream place, nothing seems real. You forget your keys, no one seems to be talking in your language and even if they are you don’t care as you can’t hear what they’re saying anyway, and it does not matter since you're not really there. Things you cared about before don’t seem to matter anymore and things you did not think you cared about suddenly do. What is the matter with me? It’s a kind of hell, but you feel like your in heaven.

Even your body goes out of control, you can’t eat, you don’t sleep properly, your legs turn to jelly as you're not sure where the floor is anymore. You have butterflies permanently, not only in your tummy but all over your body - your hands, your shoulders, your chest, your eyes everything’s just a jangling mess of nerve endings tingling with fire. It makes you feel so alive. And yet it's like being suffocated, you don’t seem to be able to see or hear anything real anymore, it's like people are speaking to you through treacle, and so you stay in your cosy place with him, the place that only you two understand. 

And then, once you think you’ve got him, the panic sets in. What if he goes off me? What if I blow it, say the wrong thing? What if he meets someone better than me? Prettier, thinner, funnier, more like him? Who doesn’t bite there nails? Perhaps he doesn’t feel the same, maybe this is all in my head and this is just a quick fling for him. Why did I tell him all stupid things that are in my mind?

Of course you do your best to keep all this to yourself, you don’t want him to think you're a neurotic nutcase, but your mind won’t leave you alone, it tortures you and examines your every moment spent together, remainding how insane you are to imagine someone would feel like that about you. 

By Annabel  Giles [with some corrections by me]